There is a constant need for the acceptance and consent of others to overcome guilt

- Many people need to remove the small intestine, build self-confidence etc

- About you and me - Hansal Bhachech

- The person to whom you are asking anything knowingly or unknowingly starts expecting you to follow his opinion or opinion. The other person is not bound to implement my opinion because the person cannot readily accept that I asked.

Last Wednesday I talked here that just because someone takes our advice doesn't mean they are bound to take it. In lieu of advice, his freedom of decision-making can be taken away. A natural question to many readers is that if a person does not believe in us, then why take our advice or opinion?! Let's talk today in the direction of developing a little more clarity so that wishes and deeds can be accepted and can be brought into life in the true sense.

'If you don't believe me, why are you asking me?!' I was also asked this question frequently by people consulting me early in my career. When they ask questions from all over the world about anything, take our advice and then do what they want to do, the natural question in the mind is that if they don't believe in us, then why would they be asking?! Why would they be wasting their and our time?! The maturity that comes with time and experience has made me understand these questions to the point that I never get bothered by them anymore. Now I understand that everyone takes your opinion on anything for multiple reasons and ultimately takes a decision according to their own mind, convenience or whatever. Many persons are not clear on some things and ask you to develop conceptual clarity. Like you, many others may be asking or are asking, the main purpose is to be clear. Some ask you with the intention of clearing their confusion, whether or not their confusion will be cleared depends on both your answer and their understanding. The purpose of many people asking you anything is to get your opinion on the matter. If your opinion is in line with their belief or opinion, they gain satisfaction or confidence from your agreement with their ideas. But, in the event that your opinion differs from their opinion or belief, they make arguments to convince you of their point! In fact, these individuals constantly need the acceptance and approval of others to overcome their inferiority complex, build self-confidence or overcome guilt.

On the other hand, the person to whom you are asking anything knowingly or unknowingly starts expecting you to follow his opinion or opinion one hundred percent. The other person is not bound to implement my opinion because the person cannot readily accept that I asked. After your opinion or opinion the other person is free to accept it according to his understanding and need. Yes, you are free to give your opinion or not. If you feel that your opinion or opinion is not given due value, then you can avoid the need to give an opinion, but if you insist on doing the same after giving it, you have to be prepared for friction.

Thus, this thing which is easily understood, when it happens between parents and children or sometimes between husband and wife, then it is not so easy! Parents have high expectations from their children (now children also have similar expectations from their parents. Where the parents fall short, the children do not fall back on taunting or making an example of other parents. In many cases, Children directly fall for emotional blackmailing!) In this environment of mutual expectations, if the child asks the parents for anything, there is an answer or opinion along with the pressure or expectations to follow it. Parents insist that their children follow their own opinion due to their own experience and maturity, when the child values ​​their own independence more than the experience or maturity of their parents. Friction, misunderstanding or heartache are common in such circumstances. Based on my experience of working in many such cases, if there is any serious harm to the child or if there is an over-important disciplinary matter, as a parent, always exercise your veto. Otherwise, after giving your opinion or opinion to the child in other matters, it is necessary to state your expectation once (eg, I want you to do this in this matter or I would like it) but

Also, giving him the freedom to think or discuss his decision (like, I think this is what you think, and if you think something different, we'll discuss it again but share the final decision) in this approach, your child Nor does it remain indifferent to expectations. At the same time he gets the satisfaction of participating in the decision making process and his confidence increases.

full stop:

Everyone has a hidden desire to get acceptance of their thoughts or decisions, to satisfy which most people take the opinions of others!