Today there are five relationships on the waiting list against one meaningful relationship.

- Who would be in a rush to tolerate or adjust under these circumstances?!

- About you and me - Hansal Bhachech

- Every relationship has its own unique significance, there is no substitute for that relationship or the person in it! When we leave a relationship or a person and adopt its alternative, sooner or later it is always understood that the alternative has taken the place of the old relationship or of the old person, that place remains empty!

'What do I wear?! Write something about this universal question of wives! What kind of fad is it to ask my husband and tell him spat-by-spat what I've decided to wear, even though I've decided what I'm going to wear from head to toe?!' A friend who seemed super-struck, as if I had taught his wife to ask this question, took me on the phone!

'Why is Alya so red?! That too in such an everyday question?!' I asked in a light tone to cool it down.

'He knows that every time I give the same answer - wear what you like, but to'ya methi marvi' he said without any coldness.

Don't say 'Doba, wear what you feel good! You should say that whatever you wear, you feel good, then it will kill you less. Even if he kills even less, that is his marriage-acquired right!' I spoke a little more softly. But he showed such silence in front of me that I understood that he was not in a joking mood at all. So Mare'y was not loose without getting serious. I said 'Just kidding, the fact is she probably has a lot of clothes to wear to the occasion and she's confused about the choice...'

Let's put this point here and make another point and then combine the two points to a third main point...

'Why are these toes red?!' I asked my gardener.

'All the fingers have been swollen in the rain,' he said, saying that I didn't understand anything, as if the price had washed over my face, 'Sir, our house is in the river bed. A few days ago due to this rain water was released in the river so the police made us evacuate the house. Sitting on the road in the pouring rain all night, what else can we do?! The feet remained in the water, it swelled up, so it was our country's way, so I felt sorry for his situation after hearing this, but before that I was touched by his health! If there is water dripping from any place in our house, we are shocked and this man is so calm even though his whole house is in water!!

At the root of both these things is the matter of 'option' or 'choice'. In the first instance the choice is available and the mind gets confused, stuck between choices and feels the need for an opinion. Whereas on the other hand, no other option is available so the mind is clear, there is acceptance for what is in the mind and there is an inherent calmness to it! It is quite straightforward to understand, the mind is not to be trusted when it has inherent options, in such circumstances the credibility of the mind playing the game of choice-dislike or trial of options is questioned. But, when the mind has no choice, the mind is calm. Late-early acceptance and sobriety are cultivated, adaptation to the only available option is automatic. Today is the age of choice, choice and customization, many options are made available in everything and the mind gets stuck in the options, confused in the choice. It does not mean that there should not be options to choose from but there should be clarity of choice in the mind and determination to stick to it.

If this nature of mind is understood, the deteriorating health of relationships will also be understood. Today's generation has a tenth of the options of 'hook-ups' that the previous generation did not have, as a result the number of 'break-ups' and 'loose-ends' occurring today is many times higher than that time! The availability of alternatives plays a greater role than the changed mindset behind the 'don't give', 'don't run', 'don't compromise' approach in relationships. Many times I have written that today there are five relationships on the waiting list in front of one meaningful relationship, who would be in a rush to tolerate or adjust to these circumstances?! And suppose that even if it falls, the mind will remain loaded with heavy dissatisfaction! Who knows when the mind will get confused and which way it will fall?!

Every relationship has its own unique significance, there is no substitute for that relationship or the person in it! When we leave a relationship or a person and adopt its alternative, sooner or later it is always understood that the alternative could have taken the place of the old relationship or of the old person, but that place remained empty! Yes, a new relationship or a new person can have its own special significance. Those who do not understand this may spend their entire lives subconsciously or consciously searching for alternatives to persons or relationships, and the void within them continues to widen.

full stop

Power of choice nourishes the ego but choicelessness dissolves the ego!