What must a person do to keep the relationship safe and secure?

- Guftego - Dr. Chandrakant Mehta

- Relationship is a temple of love and affection. Just like you take off your shoes before entering the temple, in order to become a true relative, the shoes of selfishness, ego and anger should be taken out of the 'relationship temple' and the relationship should go to the deity.

* What is essential for a person to have a secure relationship?

Questioner: Kalawati Baranda, 'Kali', 2/3, 'Ch' type Government Quarters, Sector-2 Gandhinagar.

Man is considered a social animal. That is to say, emotional and legal relationships also take shape from the different types of people in the society who come in contact with each other for social needs and cooperation. Whether a person has a job or a business, it also brings intimacy and intimacy with many people. Joining congregations, organizations, associations, etc. also creates new relationships. Permanent relationships often arise from occasional visits such as travel by train, bus, plane or even from a temporary relationship. Relationships For the sake of self-fulfillment, a person often builds and connects relationships in a calculated manner. 'How pure and selfless is man's relationship with God! When there is sorrow, when calamity comes, man remembers God and asks for his help and after recovering from sorrow, he says goodbye to God. Moksha seekers associate devotion with the adorable for Moksha.

Many people consider a relationship an 'art' while those who have failed in a relationship consider a relationship a 'force'. Just as the mind has to be educated and initiated for sadhana, so the mind and heart have to be trained to understand, accept and make the relationship wonderful. A relationship is an unwritten vow that needs to be vowed to be faithful.

Because the relationship is an emotional relationship with the mind and heart, man has to control his emotions and calculations. Both of these areas are extremely fragile. Not even once it is cooked and not even once. Atleast passing and passing the test from moment to moment is the victory of the relationship. 'Even if I lose, I must not lose my relationship' - such a determination can be the guardian of a relationship:

There are seven enemies of a relationship:

1. Ego 3. Stubbornness 3. Vat and Hatha 2. Authorization 3. Selfishness 3. Anger ૭ Intolerance.

Relationships are damaged for one or more of these reasons.

The seven well-wishers of the relationship should also be remembered against these seven enemies of the relationship. These are the seven well-wishers: Tolerance 3. Restraint Forgiveness 2. Compromise 3. Overcoming Anger Speech control Preparing to wear out. Man does not drink milk by blowing. Blame the milk when it is boiled with hot milk. In fact, man wants happiness, warmth of relationship, quick response and praise of loyalty. Faith and trust are indispensable in a relationship.

Doubt and doubt wound the roots of the relationship. Man becomes a slave to doubt so suspicion misleads his intellect. The skeptic gives various reasons for self-defense. This also gives rise to misconceptions. Man should follow the 'Code of Conduct' instead of the 'Code of Conduct' of best practices in a relationship. The analysis of the event only makes the intellect think by climbing the ladder. As a result, faith disappears from the relationship. And the kingdom of disbelief begins.

Just as a planted plant needs to be irrigated, the water of selfless love has to be irrigated to keep the relationship green, except for the downpour. Not too close and not too far. Eternal as low as expectations in a relationship. In a relationship, man breaks the positivity and pushes the negativity. The best way to dispel misconceptions is to engage in healthy communication, looking for the causes of unpleasantness, rather than the idea of ​​breaking up when something unpleasant happens. Disputes, arguments, mistakes, faults, tragic events of the past make the subject of discussion a gap in the relationship.

Relationship is a journey. It will be sunny and shady. Relationships that have never been broken are rare. Relationships are not sold in the market. So knowing the reasons for the break up and finding a generous solution and accepting it on both sides is the 'oxygen' to keep the broken relationship alive. Selfishness and anger are carbon dioxide for a relationship. Abandoning it as much as possible is the lifeblood of a relationship. Excessive rage in a relationship is also harmful and hatred is also harmful. The closer the relationship, the more likely it is that the relationship will fall apart. Expectations are also high because of the closeness in a marital relationship. Expectation is fire. She is always looking for a way to become dominant. It needs cool water of understanding, not ghee of selfishness. That is why expectations in a relationship should not be allowed to run wild.

Every desire is considered to be a birthright. That is why a man should budget his expectations in order to become a true relative and eliminate the vain, extravagant and expensive expectations himself. The death of some demonic desires is not a sinful event but a virtuous event. Knowing how to live a true relationship is also a virtuous event. Not keeping track of what is lost in the relationship and not keeping track of what is gained is the parasite of the purity of the relationship. If a man is as concerned about the sattvic nature of a relationship as he is about milk fat, he must realize the rising and falling heat of the relationship. An 'icebag' should be kept on the head to preserve the relationship, not a bag of hot water to shake.

What if a situation arises where the relationship is not maintained despite all sincere efforts? So the best way is to get rid of the relationship with a nice turn without reading the mind-promise-act that only the slightest bit of the relative gets hurt. Breaking up with harsh words, baseless accusations and slander is a sign of rudeness. The poison of vengeance is the bankruptcy of mankind.

Reckless words, sarcasm grow in hatred. Blaming a person or not praising a good deed is also considered contrary to the decency of the relationship. According to a parable, "Yes, you did it!"

"No, not at all."

Thus began the conflict.

After exchanging a few bitter words, the two close friends parted ways.

"I'm sorry."

''me too.''

Thus the quarrel ended there. Two loving balls and two handfuls joined. 'I will always be a flower, never a thorn' - those who have such a sattvic attitude can become true relatives!

Relationship is a temple of love and affection. Just as you take off your shoes before entering the temple, in order to become a true relative, the shoes of selfishness, ego and anger should be taken out of the threshold of the temple and the relationship should go to the deity. Having the gift of spirit, the offering of humility. And Dakshina Arpi of tolerance and forgiveness becomes a deed. Even God is eagerly waiting for man to become a true relative.