When there is a good relationship, the 'defect' also seems to be 'very' and when the relationship deteriorates, the 'defect' also looks defective - why is that?

- Guftego - Dr. Chandrakant Mehta

- "All the cows in the cowshed do not give milk by filling any pawali. One or two cows may be without milk. Some men in our relationships may be useless. They should be maintained '' - Swami Sachchidananda

* In a good relationship, 'defect' also seems to be 'very' and when the relationship deteriorates, 'defect' also appears to be defective - why so?

* Questioner: Harun Khatri, Wardwad, Arbani, Satellite Street, Jam Khambhalia (Saurashtra)

Man is an overall selfish animal. He thinks after the good deeds and gives priority to selfishness. Man uses praise, admiration and flattery to achieve selfishness. He builds the relationship for the sake of selfishness and neglects the relationship when selfishness is fulfilled.

Taxpayers make good use of human-psychology. If you want to subdue a man, ignore his shortcomings and rely on his strengths, then the man will become yours due to his mental weakness. Compliments are also dear to God. The man is so overjoyed to hear his compliment. His discretion kills Baher. He doesn't even think about the show's intent behind the speech or behavior of someone who believes or counts his shortcomings too much. I remember the dialogue of the villain Pran in an old Hindi film. "Kya baat hai" was also used to praise his wrong statement to reserve the opposite character. Once the character got angry and kicked Prana. But Pran didn't want to spoil the relationship, so even after being kicked, he said: "What's the matter!"

Praise activity is in full swing due to infatuation or infatuation among lovers. The faults of a loved one also seem like a virtue but when a love affair cracks for any reason it also feels like a defect. Does pragmatism explain that you want to live in peace? So do not be overwhelmed by praise and be distracted by condemnation. The poet Rahim gives an example of the selfishness of the human mind.

"Kaam pade kachu aur hai,

Work sur kachu or,

Rahiman Bhanwar Ke Bhayo,

River Sirawat Maur ''

This means that a person's behavior is different when it comes to work and a different kind of work address. At the time of marriage, the bridegroom is adorned with a khump or gar-tora, sehra, the flowers are thrown around, that is, they are thrown into the river at the end of the marriage!

Purity is deducted when temptation is mixed in a relationship. There are three types of relatives.

1. Maintaining the decency of the relationship

. Maintaining tolerance for fear of breaking up

. Pool builders of appreciation to take advantage of the relationship

Of these three types of men, the third type is inferior. Man does not know how to become a devoted friend or a great enemy. The personality of a man should be pure in the words of the poet Narmad "Arijan gashe dilthi" i.e. he wants to praise even the enemy.

The tide of praise and condemnation is flowing in politics. Which takes the place of the first compliment of a party or individual who is crooked in the party. Begin to see the defect in the very. The cure for man's opportunistic nature has not yet been discovered. It is advisable to introspect when someone describes your qualities or attributes and try to develop from within the qualities that a Sami person praises for your own qualities or qualities. It is a sign of gentleness for a man to become noble, to be rich in character, and to truly prepare the fertile ground in the conscience for the development of virtues by overcoming defects. The admirer is blown away by the rain of words of praise when he introduces the chief guest or special guest at public events. In fact, such praise is 'vyajastuti' i.e. false praise. Dr. Jonas is right when he says that a person cannot be happy without being praised and without a lie there can be no sweet compliment or praise!

Neither the neutral-speaking tongue nor the sincere tears are seen today. The tendency to weave rather than sow is central in today's relationships. When there is a quarrel in the relationship, the poison is defeated because when the self is not assumed, the relationship becomes flawed instead of very good and due to mental narrowness, it becomes difficult to make a treaty or peace.

Relationship is penance in which heat (anger) creates anguish. Even though some ages have passed, man has not yet become a relative. A true relationship can never develop under the guise of selfishness.

In fact, the right person's relationship with the right person is everlasting. Finding a 'relationship meter' that can test the purity of a relationship reveals the true nature of fake and fake relationships.

Late. According to Dharmaveer Bharti in Kahani-'An Kahani ', our relations are connected in many sciences at home and abroad. , With the village, the mahalla it breaks down. The intimacy of politicians with their own voters, of writers with their own readers, with the Guru's own disciples is broken.

In a relationship, guilt is more important than quality. They praise for accomplishing the work. But if the work is not accomplished, it degrades the dignity of the relationship.

However it is advisable to try to reconnect the broken relationship as much as possible. Rahim says in 'Dohavali'. -

'' Toote Sujan Manai,

If broken all twelve,

Rahiman Phiri Poio

Toote Muktahar "

Relationship is a necklace of pearls. Even if it breaks not once but a hundred times, the relative should be persuaded. Just as we care for the defeat of death, 'the water that kills the dang does not separate' - such generosity should be based on humbleness, forgiveness, generosity and sweetness, and true love should be shown towards those who give up opportunism.

In a relationship, even if you don't say sweet words, bitter words hurt the roots of your virtues. Even when a relationship breaks up, not having a hostile or abusive attitude towards the relative is the etiquette of the relationship.

Relationship improvement does not go hand in hand. The person in front also needs to be prepared to improve the relationship. There is one more thing to remember. Excessive rage in a relationship can also be harmful. The qualities that appear in a person very closely seem to be flawed when properly judged. That is why true love should be given a chance to develop in a relationship. 'Love, then forgive a thousand sins', because true love preserves a list of virtues, not faults. One has to have faith and trust in order to look good. Swami Sachchidananda has made an important suggestion: "I have learned a lesson in life that not all cows in a cowshed give milk by filling a pavali. One or two cows may be without milk. Even in our relationships, some people may be useless, they should be maintained. "

It is the true dignity of a human being to allow one's tongue to be praised and to control one's slander.