The apologist may be 'forced'...the apologist is always 'strong'...

- Homage to Amrit - Acharya Vijayaratnasuri

A rule is found everywhere in the world that one should be constantly alert for the acquisition and preservation of the things of which the importance is perceived to be high. On the contrary, a person should be careless – neglectful – to acquire and preserve that which is not of particular importance. Consider gold and brass for example. One understands the importance of gold as it is extremely valuable. So he keeps it safe in the vault. When one perceives aluminum as not important because it is of little value. Therefore, he leaves it open anywhere in the house and remains careless about its security.

Since this is the reality, we have started considering five things from the previous article to understand the importance of some of the important things that have become available to us and to approach their careful preservation. Today we will consider the second most important thing and that is relatives.

If we think very deeply, it will be clear that the support of relatives has been important in many external aspects of our life. Let us first consider parents in two illustrative examples. If we have developed many good virtues like sweet language, punctuality and polite behavior, it is because of our parents. The beautiful habits that he developed in us from childhood has resulted in this sanskram... If we have developed an affinity towards religion and performed big religious worship at a young age, then the responsible factor is the parents. We often say in lectures that we can tell when we have done a pilgrimage to a big pilgrimage or when we have done a big sutra like Atichara. But it is not known when he saw God for the first time in his life or when he performed Navakarasutra. Similar is the experience of people of other religions regarding the matters of their religion... If we are highly educated, then all the favors are from parents. Our higher education became possible when he made all the facilities along with shouldering the financial responsibility for years. If it comes to parents, how many things can be thought in which nothing would have been possible without their support.

For another example, consider the wife. In the morning, a person can get ready on time and can reach the office etc. on time, the main support of the wife. If he did not save many needs on time, one would not be able to leave on time to go to the office... One can be free from the worries of home and children and can safely indulge in his business-deals. The main support is from the wife. This becomes possible because she responsibly preserves the family... Sometimes the wife also does the work of joining a person in charity and penance etc. Perhaps that is why it is called Dharmapatni. The greatest historical example in this regard is that of Anupama Devi. It was with his overwhelming inspiration that Mantriswar Chithapal-Tejpal did many sacred works like the wonderful Samabavanjinalayas of Abu-Delvada. Even today there are many families in our religion in which the wife is the main factor in great charity activities - penance etc.

The example of parents and wives shown here is a glimpse-symbolic one. In the same way, non-relatives also prove to be very helpful in various external affairs of a person. Like the current Vs. If we look at one incident of the Chaturmas of 2078, in this Chaturmas, we and our disciples performed a penance of five hundred and fifty-eight months and thirty consecutive fasts. In it, a sister felt a sense of forgiveness at the old age of seventy years. The big problem was that she and her husband were the only two people in the family. Who will do the cooking of her husband if the sister does the mass forgiveness? The husband made a plan that "I will do the twenty-second Vardhamanapoli in the days when you forgive the month". That solved the sister's problem.

Be it parents, spouse or other relatives: they are not just one and the same, but because they are useful in many ways, understand their importance from that point of view. If their importance is properly understood, there will be no unbridled and unbridled reactions to them in small and big unpleasant incidents. Of course, in the regular relations with those relatives, the saying of Sanskrit literature is applicable that ``Aniparichayadavjna. However, if we 'enlarge' their usefulness and understand their importance, then the reactions in day-to-day transactions will come in such a sensible way that the relationship will not be broken, but will be dignified. Let us analyze a couple of such sensible reactions:

(1) To 'tackle' difficult things with love :- Often relationships are not like 'straight way' but rather like 'street way'. A 'highway' should be a long 'straight way' which does not have special curves for a long time and the road is also free of potholes, stones etc. While the 'street way' has twists and turns like a labyrinth of small alleys and potholes and stumbling stones etc. Even in 'street way' relationships, there are frequent ups and downs of emotions, then there are pitfalls of events that cause fractures in the relationship. Instead of exasperating at such times, he should 'deal' with the incident with love. If even an unpleasant event is 'tackled' with love, how good the result will be? So read this funny incident:

The husband and wife were having dinner together with the elder son and the younger son. Coincidentally, what was to be loaded into the bin was three wholes and a fourth half. The size of Ladwa was so big that even half a Ladwa was enough for a small child. The father gave a whole ladle to Sahu and half a ladle to the younger son. But Baba had to bend to this. He refused to accept half a ladle. After explaining twice or four times, the child did not believe and when he started screaming, the father got angry and prepared to raise his hands. There mother took over. He beckoned his father to be quiet and took half a ladle in his hand. The ladle was broken and made smaller again. Then while giving the small ladle to the little son, the mother said: "If, you too should get the whole ladle." So I have given you this whole ladle. But if you are small, then your ladu is small and if we are big, our ladu is big. This was the effect of the technique of lovingly 'tackle' the stressful matter.

(2) Forgive and have fun :- The proverb of the world is spend money and have fun. But that fun is fleeting and material-bound. That's not real fun. That's why we offer a new motto: measure and enjoy. Only a person who has the strength to forgive some of the crimes committed by family members with a smile can live happily in family life. Even in that, the offense which has been committed unintentionally - first time - in ignorance or out of habit without any 'intense' should be specially forgiven. Do you know the true story?

The famous Jain writer Mohanlal Dalichand Desai was preparing the history of Jain literature by jotting down small notes about Jain literature day and night. One day, his little grandson Ramnik, in a game, crumpled up those papers. Holi started happening without Holi. Mohanlal suddenly arrived and was shocked to see this scene. Despite the unimaginable loss, he kept his mind under control and saved the half-burnt papers. He rewrote all the chapters of the 13th century with a calm mind without any outcry and hard work. In the preface of the book 'Brief History of Jain Literature', he wrote that:- "Chi. Ramanik did the beautiful. Those chapters are better written than before.”

Finally, a funny point in this context: the apologist may be 'forced'... but the apologist is always 'strong'.